Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide

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Because it’s not just that the earth opened up and swallowed up everything you hold dear, like some natural disaster.

I never thought I would be a cheater, yet I became one many, many years into a marriage that in hindsight had some vulnerabilities. My takeaways: I'm not crazy for choosing to move ahead with the divorce and moving out, I can't save this by myself, there is nothing I can say or do that will force him to empathize with what he is putting me through or feel bad for what he's done, and I didn't do anything to make this happen or deserve this. And it seems your argument is that this very small possibility of reconciliation (of which, I'm skeptical how successful it truly is, but that is another issue) justifies seducing as many faithful spouses as possible into the attempt to reconcile. However, if you find yourself in the position where you're looking to heal from being cheated on, I truly believe this book saved my sanity.

TL;DR - If you're on this subreddit and haven't read this book, you need to drop everything and read it right now!

Sure, it’s a conclusion so devastating it might leave you with trust issues and a permanent twitch, but liberating all the same.Unfortunately, we live in a world of cheater-pologists who denounce such “black-and-white thinking” on the matter and insist there are good reasons for cheating and both partners must be at fault, just like we live in a world of people who like to ask rape victims what they were wearing. this is because Negative Binary Stereotyping is extremely appealing- its quick to understand and easy for the brain to process,the brain will always pick the path of least resistance. For example: The accusastion that in the interview with two of my children I laughed at my ex, blamed her for my affair, and encouraged my children to do the same is so far from the truth that I have to assume someone intentionally lied about it or was so biased that they can only hear what they want to hear.